Out of the frying pan
by Her Sweetness
Summary: Marik and Malik have just run into an unexpected surprise. Now, they're going to try and run their own restaurant... but will it be as easy as they think? Or will the food industry be too hot to handle? COMPLETE!
1. Thanks, great uncle!

**Sweetness:** Hiya guys. I'm starting another one... I hope you enjoy reading this. It'll be better once i get in off the ground and into the air. See you at the end!

Out of the frying pan

Chapter 1:

In was a spring afternoon in Domino City. Marik and Malik had just finished terrorizing the mailman with their new water pistols. After screaming that he'd never come down their street again... he ran away, leaving his mailbag behind.

They couldn't just leave the sac on their front lawn, so Marik brought it in. Once they were inside, Marik saw fit to look inside and take a peek.

"Okay, let's see what's here." He peeked inside, scrounged around and pulled out a yellow envelope.

"Marik," Malik said turning on the T.V, "I'm not sure we're supposed to have all this mail. It isn't ours."

"Oh, hush up. That guy gave us this whole bag... so as far as I'm concerned, it's ours." He scanned the letter, "...Hey, I might have already won a new toaster!"

"..." He ignored the idiotic comment, "Marik... come on, that isn't yours. It might be that old lady down the street's toaster."

"You gotta be kidding me. I eat more toast than she does. It's mine." Looking inside again he took out an envelope that said _Capitol One_ on the front.

Malik looked up, "What have you got, now?"

"A..." he pulled out a silver colored card, "Credit card! Alright! Beers all around!"

"...Who's is that?"

"I dunno. It's says Tristan Taylor."

"Tristan Taylor? That's one of Yugi's friends! He was talking yesterday about how he needed that money for his college education."

"He can't make a life without that!"

"Hey, we've all got our sob stories."

"Ugh!"

Marik put the letter inside and reached into the bag again. This time, pulling out a box.

"Put that back! You don't know what's in it."

"That's exactly why I intend to open it and find out." he ripped the sides open and pulled out it's contents, "Ooh, look Malik. Dirty pictures!"

"Oh, grow up!"

"Fine, if you don't want to see. I'll just keep them for myself."

"...Um, wait a minute." He sat on the couch and looked over his yami's shoulder, "...Ick. These _must_ belong to the old lady down the street."

"Ha, tell me about it." He dumped all the mail onto the floor at his feet. "Now... let's find our stuff."

Malik went back on the floor and sorted through the mess. He found about four letters addressed to them, "Finally."

"What'd we get?"

"Hmm... Bill, bill, bill... ooh, look." He held the red envelope up to where Marik could see it.

"What is it?"

He opened it and starred at the page, "It says it's from my great-uncle's legal representative..."

"Who the hell is that?"

"How should I know? I didn't even think any of my family members except Ishizu were still living."

"I didn't know either."

"It says he's twice removed. And it also said... aww!"

"What?"

"It says he just died last week."

"So?"

"Marik, have a heart." He pouted, "He's practically your great-uncle as well."

"Why do you care? You didn't even know you had a great uncle."

"...It says he left me and my yami some stuff in his will."

"Alright!" Marik took the paper from his hikari, "Let's see here... damn."

"What?"

"No money."

"Well, what is it instead?"

"A restaurant that he managed for a couple of years... Man, this stinks. Finally someone dies and we don't even get anything. Life on this end sucks."

"I think it's cool."

"You would."

"No, seriously Marik. Wouldn't it be cool to have our own restaurant?"

"Eh... not really. I mean the service industry is weird. The ladies are bitchy, the kids are dirty, and the guys are sketchy. Personally, I don't think you could take it, Malik."

"Huh?!"

"You heard me. You're getting soft... it would take someone with nerves of steal to work at one of those... those..."

"Restaurants?"

"Right."

"Ooh, I'll show you!" he stood up, "You'll see! I'm not getting soft! We're gonna take that restaurant!"

"We are?"

"Yup, and I'm gonna prove that it isn't too much for me!"

"Fine. We'll take the darn thing. _But _if you find out you can't handle it... don't say I didn't tell ya so."

"Ha, it'll be easy-peasy." He looked back at the letter, "We'll call them tomorrow to make it official. Once we change a few things around it'll feel just like home."

"Home, huh? Well, Malik... I guess since you're doing it, I might as well too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, sure. I've got no where to go."


	2. Food, name, sign

Out of the frying pan

Chapter 2:

The next day after calling his great uncle's lawyer, Malik made it official that he and his yami would take over the restaurant. Marik complained though the whole thing but they got it done. They went out to look at it for in the afternoon and luckily it was close by.

It was a lot nicer than they thought it would be. In their imaginations it was some run down old tackle shop. But in reality, it looked like a deserted Red Lobster... Malik fell in love with the place the moment he laid eyes on it. Still, Marik didn't like it much. In order to get Marik's stamp of approval, he told Malik that they had to give it a certain look.

"I think it looked great." Malik said as they came through the front door. He sat down on the couch and looked up, "You don't?"

"It's... okay." Marik sat next to his hikari, "But it's got an old geezer feel to it. Even the name sounds old... _Dessert Desert_. Yuck."

"You like desserts. What's wrong with a place that only sells desserts?"

"Those are the kind of places that make people fat. All that saturated fat and goo. That's why you can't walk down the street without seeing a fatty... it's sickening."

"It's not the restaurant's fault. They just try to make money and it works. I think it's a great idea."

"Eh...we shouldn't sell desserts."

"Hmm?" he tilted his head, "What, then?"

"Oh... I dunno." He thought for a second, "Something we know people will like. Something we won't mind being around everyday... Something that doesn't make people fat."

"And that would be?"

"... S-sandwich."

"What? Sandwich? We should sell... sandwiches?"

"That's right. That's what I said."

"Who besides us likes sandwiches?!"

"Don't you watch T.V? Hobo's do."

"What?! We're hobo servers now? Incase you haven't noticed... hobos don't have money!"

He shrugged, "People with money like sandwiches, too. Plus there's no way to lose. Because we can make any kind of sandwich! The possibilities are endless, Malik!"

"You're insane."

"Hey, I'm just telling you what the people want."

"And the people want sandwiches?"

"Well, duh. Everyone loves a good sandwich. It's not so uncommon to see a person eating a sandwich. Our neighbors eat sandwiches."

"..."

"Michael Jackson eats sandwiches."

"..."

"Hell, even the Pope eats sandwiches!"

"What?! That's not true."

"How would you know?"

"Just last week he was telling the masses how sandwiches are unholy."

"You must be kidding. I didn't see him on T.V last week."

He rolled his eyes, "You we're probably stuffing your face with a sandwich."

"Alright, we're getting off subject! Point is... holy or unholy... sandwiches are a good idea. Our economy practically runs on sandwiches. America would fall apart without them."

"Oh, whatever. That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard all day. Our economy runs on-"

"Okay, okay! Bottom line, we're selling sandwiches."

"Fine," he huffed, "...But wait a minute, if we sell sandwiches then we'll have to change the name of the restaurant."

"Why?"

"Duh. Think about it. The customers will see the sign saying _Dessert Desert_, and think we're still selling cakes and stuff. We'll have to change the name so it'll make sense that we're selling different food."

"Oh, I see. Well what name do you think we should use?"

"Uh... I don't know... Think of something."

"Why is it always me to think of something? It's really your restaurant."

"Huh, why do you say that?"

"It was your uncle that dropped dead. You should pick the name."

"Fine, I will."

"Make it good."

After thinking for half an hour Marik got tired of waiting. Shaking, chasing, and cursing his hikari didn't help the thinking process either. Obviously, Malik isn't as good at getting ideas as Marik.

"Ugh, I can't think of anything!" he collapsed onto the floor and rubbed his head, "This it hard!"

"Thinking is a hard job, Malik. It takes brains."

"Then why do you do it so often?"

He waved away the comment, "You need to hurry with that name. Once we get it, we'll tell the guys to replace the sign."

"I know, I know."

"..."

"_You_ thought of anything?"

"Oh no, Malik." He smirked, "This is yours. You have to think of the name."

"Aw, come on! You gotta help me."

"..."

"Haven't you thought of anything?"

"Of course, I've given it _some_ thought."

"Tell me." He whined, "Please!"

"Well, since you said please. I'll tell you my ingenious idea."

"Yeah, yeah. Just spit it out."

"Hmph! Fine..." he paused, "I.H.O.S."

"I.H.O.S? Does that stand for something?"

"Sure does. International House Of Sandwich. What do you think?"

"I think it sounds odd. But I could get used to it."

The next morning, Marik and Malik gave the new name to the construction workers they hired the day before. They got the work done extremely fast... mostly because Marik was scaring them into overtime. When it was complete they unveiled it for Marik and Malik to see.

"..." Malik looked it over, "It looks great guys, you really-"

"Hey!"Marik interrupted, "They screwed it!"

"What? It looks cool Marik, it's just what we wanted."

"Look at the bottom!"

Malik scanned it once again. In big blue letters it said 'I.H.O.S', which was good but below that it was supposed to say, in big red letters 'International House Of Sandwich.' Instead, it said 'International House Of Samich.'

"Oh Ra." Malik groaned, "What is that?!"

"Uh, sorry sir." One of the men came forward, "We ran out of the letters we needed to finish it properly... so we..."

"Used an m." Marik finished, "Alright, whatever. Just go, we'll fix this later."

"Yes, sir." He got on the crane and they drove away.

Malik looked back at the now empty restaurant. 'This is going to be easy... This is going to easy...'

"Yoo-hoo," Marik waved in Malik's face, "You in there?"

"...Oh, yeah. I was... just telling myself how much fun this going to be."

"Sure... fun." He sighed, "Well, we'd better get ready. We're opening tomorrow."


	3. Special of the day

Out of the frying pan

Chapter 3:

The next morning was hectic. At eight thirty in the morning Marik and Malik were already at I.H.O.S. They were rushing around getting everything ready for the opening in half an hour.... Or, at least Malik was.

"Marik, could you help out a little?!" he shouted in panic as he stocked the big freezer with ingredients.

"Hey, look at this." Marik replied holding up a flyer, "See?"

"I don't have time."

"Make time!"

He whipped his head around to look at the paper, "What am I looking at?"

"This is a flyer for McDonalds. Look at the sign near the front of the door."

"...So?"

"They've served over six billion! That's the earth's entire population!"

"..."

"Get it? If we were to serve the entire population food... they'd love us!"

"..."

"And make us their leader! This is a perfect way to achieve world domination, Malik. If we out sell McDonalds, and rule the food service... we rule the world! No one can say no to tasty things! What do you think?"

"...You are insane. I'm trying to get ready and you're going on and on about world domination! In case you haven't noticed, there happens to be a line outside the door just waiting for us to open up. If you can find the time in your twisted mind to help me out, we'll have fewer things to do and more time to talk about... your obsession. Do I make myself clear-"

Marik was already to work now that he knew there was a line, 'He, he!' he thought, 'And here I thought this stupid restaurant wasn't going to be good for anything.'

"Well.. at least he's working..." Malik sighed, 'World domination... good grief.'

The thirty minutes went by extremely fast. Malik ended up stuffing the freezer, dusting all fifteen tables, fixing the cash register, moping the floor, cleaning the toilets, and shooing the drunken hobo away from the dumpster. Marik, however, starred at the flyer and fantasized about being the supreme overlord of food.

"Okay, Malik, ready?" Marik asked, standing near the door.

He got back in the kitchen, spatula in hand, "Yup, okay. Let them in."

Marik unlocked the doors and a bunch on people walked in and looked around. The more hefty people went straight to the cash register to order. Obviously, they didn't want to wait for their food.

Marik sprinted over behind the register and assumed the position, "Welcome to I.H.O.S, home of the sandwich. What type of sandwich would you like today?"

"Isn't this the home of the 'samich'?"

"Ugh..." Malik groaned from behind his yami, "Is that what people are thinking? Good grief."

"It's sandwich. Are you gonna buy something or obsess over our lack of grammar?" Marik asked, annoyed.

The heavy-set woman looked up at the large menu hanging above Marik, "... I'd like two mustard and cheese hogies. With extra cheese."

He crinkled is nose at the nasty order but forced a smile, "Okay," he turned around to face the small window behind him, "Malik, you hear that?"

"Yep," he held out the order in front of himself, "Already got it."

Marik took the tray and handed it back to the lady, "That'll be fifty bucks, please."

"Marik!" Malik yanked on his ear, "Stick to the prices!"

"Fine, okay..." he sighed, "Five dollars, please."

She handed it over and went off to sit down at an empty table. Marik called, "Next." And another person appeared, "Welcome to I.H.O.S, home of the sandwich. What type of sandwich would you like today?"

"I thought this was the home of the 'samich'."

"No, it isn't."

"But, your sign-"

"Forget the sign and order your damn sandwich!"

"Oh, dear...I'd like a BLT." Said the fat man, "Minus the bacon and tomato."

"Um, but that only leaves lettuce," Marik was confused, "Why would you want that?"

"I'm trying to watch my weight these days. I'm getting married in two weeks and I need to look my best."

"Hmm. You're trying to watch your weight, huh? Bad news buddy, it isn't working. If you're really serious I suggest you buy our two for one diet special. Guaranteed to make you skinny!"

"R-really? Skinny?"

Marik nodded, "All you have to do is buy the special."

"Oh boy! I'll take it!"

Malik whispered in his yami's ear, "What special?"

"Watch and learn." Marik whispered back.

"How much is it?" The man asked.

"Fifty bucks. It's worth it, you'll see." He grinned evilly.

The man forked over the money as Marik reached behind the counter and pulled out a bag of two unknown sandwiches. "Here ya go."

He took it and smiled in thanks as he skipped off to another table.

The rest of the day was calm as calm could be with Marik and Malik in charge of things. Marik sold three more of his 'specials', Malik asked again and again what they were but Marik answered only with a wicked grin.

At around one o' clock a smelly, old man came in through the doors of the restaurant and up to the register.

Marik turned around from a conversation with Malik, "Welcome to I.H.O.S, home of the sandwich. What type of sandwich would you like today?"

"Hey, I know you!" Malik interrupted, "You're that hobo that I moved from the garbage cans earlier today! What are you doing back here?"

The man scratched his head, "I want my house back."

"You mean _our_ dumpster? Sorry, bum. But we need it. Find yourself a cardboard box to live in." Marik said.

"Marik," Malik argued, "This guy is like sixty years old. We should respect our elders."

"No, we should bury them." He turned back to the hobo, "Sorry, man. There's nothing we can do about you being homeless. You shouldn't have whittled your money away on booze."

"I resent that! My money was spent on porn magazines." He said proudly.

"Those magazines aren't doing ya any good right now, huh? At least with boos you could have drunk yourself into a coma and died in peace."

"...Can I have a sandwich?" he asked.

"You got money?"

He dug in his pockets and pulled out some lint and something else that looked questionable. "Will this cover it?"

"Hell, no." Marik looked at the contents of his hands, "What is that stuff next to the lint?"

"I dunno. I found it yesterday in a gutter. It looked useful, so I've been carrying it around. But you can have it if it gets me a sandwich."

"Ugh," Marik realized that making this guy go away wouldn't be an easy task. So he decided to give him what he wanted, "Here, man."

He handed over another one of his 'specials' to the hungry hobo. The smelly man took it and smiled in thanks. He walked back out of the restaurant, munching on his sandwiches.

Malik pulled his yami back into the kitchen. He roughly pinned him up against the wall and before he could state his reasons, Marik spoke up, "Easy, Malik. We're in a public place. Can't you wait till we get home?"

"Marik! That's not what I'm doing!" he eased his grip, "I want to know what you're doing with all these specials you're handing out. It took me forever to come up with an acceptable menu, and I don't remember adding anything about special diet meals."

"I knew your curiosity would get the best of you, Malik."

"Huh?"

"You were asleep last night when I went on and found this great spell. I-"

"No, no, no, no, no! Marik, not that site again! I'm going to have to put some parental blocks on our computer."

"Will you let me finish?! As I was saying... I cast the spell on the 'specials'."

"...What does it do?"

"Curiosity, yet again. Anyone who eats the cursed food will come back to eat it again and again. And there's only one place where they can get it... here! And if we sell them at fifty dollars a pop, we'll make so money we won't know what to do with it. There's no way we can lose! Genius, right?"

"No. Why'd you do that? We're going to be swamped."

"What we're going to be is powerful. If we keep selling these special meals, we'll be more serving more than McDonalds and the control of the planet will shift to us!"

"You must be joking! You honestly believe the control of Earth is in McDonalds?"

He nodded.

"... You know, from time to time I wonder how I ended up with someone like you."

"You're one of the lucky ones, Malik."

"Uh... well, how many of those spell sandwiches do you have?"

"Enough to last a lifetime!"


	4. Jim

Out of the frying pan

Chapter 4:

The next day was as Malik predicted. They were totally swamped with customers. The day before Marik had sold about fifty or sixty special sandwich meals. And today he was paying for it with a headache and a lack of aspirin.

Malik was back in the kitchen putting sandwiches together like mad. Every order that Marik got he told Malik in a hurry and his hikari was expected to dish it out in less than five seconds. It was only about ten thirty and the lunch rush wasn't even there yet.

In his mind, Malik was cursing Marik for selling so many sandwiches with that spell on them. What made him think they could handle this kind of rush by themselves? And all this trouble for outselling McDonalds? His yami was going insane.

Marik took another order, "Come Malik, hurry it up back there!"

"I'm going as fast as I can! If I go any faster, I'll get the orders mixed up and then what?"

In a while things slowed down a little bit and Marik started to relax at the register. But before he could take his on the job nap... _Ring, Ring, Ring!_

He picked up the phone, "Ugh, This I.H.O.S, home of the sandwich... What do you want?"

"Yes, I was wondering if you made deliveries?"

"...Nope, sorry."

"Aw, that's too bad. I'm about to host a dinner party and I was going to order one hundred of your two for one diets specials. But I can't pick them up myself, so I was wondering-"

Marik's eyes widened, "Say no more! I'll be right there with your food, man. Hang tight!" he dropped the phone and rushed back into the kitchen.

"Marik, why aren't you at the register?" Malik asked.

"Malik," he said going into the freezer, "You'll have to watch the register for a while. I got an errand to run."

"What?! That means I'll be running the place the place by myself! I can't do that! Where are you going?!"

"I got a delivery to make."

"We don't _deliver_!"

"Correction, we didn't deliver. But this is going to be an exception, because this guy I talked to on the phone is going to buy a hundred specials!"

"A hundred? Each of them sells for fifty bucks..."

"Yep!"

"That adds up to..." he counted in his head.

"Don't hurt yourself, Malik." He was halfway out the door, "I'll be back before you can say pickled-onions."

When Marik was gone and Malik became overrun with customers, he repeated 'pickled-onions' a thousand times out loud while taking down orders.

The place was overrun with hungry customers and Malik had to go back and forth from the kitchen to the register. He was starting to mix up the orders and in one case, a man ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and Malik gave him a grilled egg sandwich. The man whose order was mistaken had to be wheeled off to the hospital because he was highly allergic to eggs.

Malik was in dire need of assistance and since it seemed like Marik wouldn't be back for a while, he had to make out on his own.

As the line slowed a little bit and Malik began to catch his breath, someone else walked in. The same hobo from the day before walked up to the counter and starred at Malik.

"What?"

"I want another sandwich."

"Ugh." He shook his head, "I don't give out freebies. Marik shouldn't have, either."

He starred.

"...Listen, I'm sorry that you're a hobo. But there's really nothing I can do."

Still starring.

"Uh, come on. Can't you go somewhere else? Marik could be back any minute and I don't think he's very fond of you."

More stares and blank looks.

Malik was thinking of something else to say but before he could, he looked out of the window and saw a bunch of cars pull up.

"Oh, great... More people. This is not what I need!" he turned to the hobo, "You're going to have to move, I have a job to do."

"But what about my sandwich?"

"No!"

A group of people trotted up to the register. Malik moved the hobo aside and looked at the man in front of the line, "Welcome to I.H.O.S, home of the sandwich. What type of sandwich would you like today?"

As the people gave their orders and Malik made their sandwiches, he completely forgot about the hobo who was now bothering the other costumers.

He tried to get under the table to eat the gum stuck on the bottom. But it seemed that the people were starting to get annoyed at the fact that a smelly old man was rubbing up against their legs.

The hobo was having a hard enough time trying to eat the gum. Even though it had only been there for 48 hours, it was hard and chunky. His old and yellow teeth couldn't pry it off of the table.

His stomach growled again and he sat back against the leg of a woman. She screamed and kicked him in the back. He ignored the pain and got an idea. As the lady resumed eating, the hobo stuck his hand up on the tabletop and touched her sandwich.

She slapped his hand away and stormed up to Malik at the register, "Excuse me, sir!"

"Um, yes. May I help you?" he asked.

"I have had it up to here with the dirty people in this restaurant! If you don't clean it up, I will take my money elsewhere!"

"Huh?! What dirty people?"

She pointed to her table where the hobo was sitting in her seat, happily munching her sandwich, "_That_ dirty person!"

"Oh no!" he rushed over the table and tugged at the hobo's arm, "Stop it! What are you doing?!"

"Lunch." He said plainly.

"That's not yours!"

"You wouldn't give me one... survival of the fittest."

"You certainly aren't fit. Husky, maybe."

"..."

"Listen, you have to give that back to that woman." He nodded towards the lady behind him.

He handed the sandwich to the lady. She looked it over and only a soggy, saliva-dripping corner was left. "This is disgusting!" She grabbed her jacket and ran out of the front doors.

"Look at what you did!" Malik shouted in disbelief.

"I gave her the sandwich. She didn't want it." He stuck the rest of it in his mouth.

"That's because you drooled all over it!"

Before the hobo could reply, Marik walked in through the door and up to Malik, "...Why aren't you at the register, Malik? And how come I saw some lady running out of here screaming? And why is that hobo here?"

"This hobo ate that lady's sandwich!"

"He did?"

"Yes, and he won't leave! I think-"

He raised his hand, "Not now, Malik. I got something to tell ya."

"..."

"After I did the delivery, I stopped off at McDonalds just to see what they're like. Do you know what they have?"

"A normal day."

"No! They have a staff! That's how they do it!"

"Do what?"

"Serve so many people! That's how they serve over six billion. They have more people. And that's one of the reasons we can hardly handle the crowd we have now. We need someone else."

"We're on a tight budget, Marik. We can't afford to hire some-"

"Then we'll hire someone that doesn't expect much in the way of a paycheck." He looked around and his eyes settled on the homeless man sitting by him, "...Hey, you."

"Me?" he asked.

"How would you like a job?"

"What?!" Malik shouted.

"... Uh, I dunno. What's a job like? Does it hurt?"

"Not unless you want it to." Marik replied, "You can work here."

"What do I get?"

"Well... what do you want?"

"When I'm on the streets, I get about two banana peels a day... If the garbage is good."

Marik grinned, "How about I give you _four_ banana peels _and_ half a sandwich a day. And I don't care what the garbage is like."

"Okay!" he said enthusiastically.

"Great, you start tomorrow."

Malik's jaw was practically on the floor, "M-Marik! You're not serious, are you? This is one of your jokes, right?"

"Nope. I'm telling you, we have to do this!"

"Ugh..."

Marik turned back to the hobo, "Well... what's your name?"

"My name? Gee, I don't know."

"What? You don't know?! How can you not know?"

He shrugged, "I don't think I've ever had a name. I was born a hobo, you know. But... I've been fond of the name Jim."

"Fine. You're new name is _Jim_. You can start sleeping in the dumpster again, since you work here. And tomorrow, I don't want you to come here smelly like trash. So, you can bathe every night in the kitchen sink."

"Marik!" Malik protested, "I wash my _hands_ in that sink! I don't want hobo stink all over me!"

"He won't stink after a bath."

"Wow... this'll be weird. I've never worked with real people before." Jim said, "Come to think of it... I've never had a bath either."

Malik sighed, "Great."


	5. Apocalypse

Out of the frying pan

Chapter 5:

For Malik, the next morning was hell. When he and Marik came to work, they accidentally walked in on Jim, who was taking a bath in the kitchen sink. After Malik washed his hands, Jim coughed on them. Jim also ate most of the sandwich ingredients from the day before so they had to buy more before they opened.

Marik barely even noticed the way his hikari disliked Jim. To him the only thing that mattered right now was world domination. And the only way to do that is to serve more people than McDonalds. And in his mind, they needed Jim to help them do that. Malik, on the other hand, just wanted the smelly hobo out of his restaurant.

After they'd been open for about an hour, Malik had about enough of Jim hovering around him.

"Cut it out!" Malik yelled from in the kitchen.

Marik stuck his head in the window, "What's going on in here?! You're disturbing the customers."

"Well, Jim is disturbing _me_!" Malik whined.

Jim looked at him, "What did I do?"

"You won't stop singing! It's annoying!"

"That's the hobo theme song, I sing it anywhere I go. It reminds me to be proud of what I am."

"You're proud to be a hobo?!"

"Alright, stop." Marik interrupted, "You two are acting like little kids. Malik, get back to making sandwiches. And Jim, you go handle the register. I got another delivery to make."

"Okay." Jim started for the counter, but was stopped by Malik.

"Hold on! Marik, he can't handle the register!"

"Why not?"

"He's a hobo. What would people say if they see a hobo handing them their food?"

"Hmm. Good point." He turned to Jim, "Change of plans, Jim. Malik's going to handle the customers."

Malik nodded in approval.

"And you're going to make the sandwiches." He continued.

"W-what?!" Malik's eyes popped open, "No, you can't! Marik, he doesn't know how!"

"He's got to learn sometime." Marik pushed Malik to the counter and left the restaurant.

Malik sighed and turned to the kitchen window, "Okay, Jim. When I give you an order, you make the sandwich and had it to me. Get it?"

"Got it."

"Good." He whirled around to take a customer's ordered, "Welcome to I.H.O.S, home the sandwich. What type if sandwich would you like today?"

"I'd like a Dagwood sandwich, please."

Malik whirled around, "Jim, you hear that? Do you know what a Dagwood is?"

"Uh, sure." He thought a minute, "I mean, yeah! O-of course."

"Good, hurry it up." He turned back around.

Jim sighed and looked around the kitchen, 'Okay, think. A Dagwood? Oh, yes. Now I remember.'

"Come on, Jim. I can't wait forever. She's getting impatient."

"Uh, right!" he hurried around the kitchen, putting every kind of meat and vegetable on the bread.

He rushed out of the kitchen and tried to show it to Malik, "I'm done."

Malik was busy with another customer, "Not now, just go give it to the lady over there." He pointed.

Jim walked over to the table and set the tray down in front of the woman. She turned her head to look, "Oh my goodness!"

"What?" he asked

"What is this... this _thing_ in front of me?!"

"Your Dagwood."

Malik overheard the noise and walked over, "What is going on over here? Jim, what did you do?"

"This lady doesn't like her Dagwood."

He looked at it, "Ew!" The Dagwood he was looking at was filled with corn chips, radishes, a sock, horse liver, week old salami and other things that didn't look fit for human consumption. "What the hell?!"

"What kind of restaurant are you running?!" the lady asked, annoyed, "I'm leaving!" she walked out the door.

"...That's two customers in two days that we've lost because of you!"

"A Dagwood is _supposed_ to be made of a lot of things."

"Yeah, a lot of edible things. Look at this catastrophe!" he held it up, "...Is that your sock?"

"I ran out of the kitchen in a hurry and there was a empty spot in the sandwich."

"So you used your sock?! Oh yeah, that's logical!"

This conversation went on for about five more minutes before Marik came running in, "Hey, guess what!"

Malik turned to him, "Marik, I need to tell you what Jim did!"

"Tattle-tell..." Jim mumbled.

"Not now, Malik. I've got something to show you that's important." He looked at Jim, "Go mop the bathroom, Jim."

He dutifully went to get the bucket and mop and trudged into the restroom.

Marik turned around to Malik once again, "Okay, guess what."

"What?"

"Yesterday morning, I set a counter at the front of the door. Ever since, it's been keeping track of how many people come inside to buy something!"

"And?"

"And we've almost got a billion customers!"

"Huh?!"

"The McDonalds down the street is fuming mad, because we're taking away a lot of their business. I heard that the manager's freaking out! Just wait till we get more customers! Have you been selling those special sandwiches like I told you?"

"No. I haven't."

"What?! Why not?"

"Because they could be dangerous, Marik. I went back onto that black market website and read about that curse you've been using. The fine print said there are..." he looked around, paranoid, "..._side affects_."

"What kind of _side affects_?"

"Bad ones. Like sleepwalking, loss of appetite, even the desire to eat human flesh!"

"...How can you want to eat human flesh if you've lost your appetite-"

"Shh!" Malik silenced his yami, "Listen... do ya hear it?"

"Hear what?"

"...The sound of insanity knocking at our doorstep!"

"..."

"Look... do you see it?"

"See what!?"

"Humans surviving on the skin of their fellow humans! It's the sign of the apocalypse! Run everybody!" Malik sprinted into the kitchen.

Some people started to get up and leave. Not because they feared the apocalypse... but because they feared Malik coming out of the kitchen with a chainsaw.

'Damn. Malik's lost it again.' Marik thought, 'Okay... where's the frying pan? I'm gonna have to hit him hard this time.'

Just before Marik could go strike his hikari in the head with a cooking utensil, an abnormally skinny man burst threw the door. Marik whipped his head around and sighed, "Can I help you?"

"I need to see the manager." He said, gruffly.

"Well, the other manager is in the kitchen having an episode, so... what can _I_ do for you?"

"My name is Curt. I own the McDonalds down the street."

"...Oh, so you're the one who was freaking out earlier. What are you doing here?"

Curt looked him straight in the eye, "I want to know how you've managed to steal so much of our business in such a short amount of time. McDonalds used to be the fast food king of the block before you and I.H.O.S. Not even Taco Bell could hold a candle to us! Now you've taken a sixth of our customers in only three days! Tell me, I must know how a place with such a ridiculous name... International House of Samiches could-"

"That's _sandwiches_!"

"I want you to close your restaurant. How much will you sell it for?"

"What?! No way. Nope. We're not selling... Curt. Besides. We're not after money. We're after something far greater!"

"..." He tilted his head in confusion, "Like what?"

"Like the power you possess. The control you have over the world."

"Control? Power? Where?"

"It's on you! It's all over you! It's... inside you!" he squinted at Curt, "Know this... Curt. I'm after it, and I won't stop till I get it! I never rest! Evil will not sleep! Evil will not eat! Evil will not go to the bathroom! I will have the world, and the world will have me! Ha, ha, ha!"

More people left the restaurant.

Curt backed up two steps, "You're insane! I have no power... all I have are my beloved customers! And you're trying to take them away! I won't let you! Evil will not prevail! McDonalds will overcome!"

"Ha, that's what you think!"

"I know." He said, and slipped out the door.

As Marik turned around, he found that he Malik and Jim were the only ones in the room, "I finished cleaning the toilets." Jim said, mop in hand.

"Marik, what was all that screaming about? You scared all the customers away!" Malik had gotten over his apocalypse trip for the moment.

"Don't worry. They'll be back. Most of them are under our spell, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember. Well..." he shrugged, "Since no one's _here_, let's close up early."


	6. We're going in

Out of the frying pan

Chapter 6:

The following week, I.H.O.S was busier than ever. Marik was making deliveries more often now so he left Malik in charge with Jim. Not that Malik and Jim were getting along any better. They fought all the time and since Malik was in charge he always sent Jim to mop the bathroom floors... even if they were already clean.

Curt had been pushing his McDonalds harder than ever just so he could regain his customers. Marik found him sneaking around the restaurant trying to find out exactly how Marik and Malik started getting so many customers. Of course, he sent Curt away when he found him lurking around Jim's house... the dumpster.

It was Sunday evening, and I.H.O.S had been open for about nine hours. Marik had gone out to another delivery and he left Malik and Jim alone.

"This isn't fair." Malik was standing at the register, "Nobody ever comes in on Sunday. We've barely had a customer all day. We might as well go home."

"You're forgetting," Jim said, "This _is_ my home."

"The garbage is your home." He whispered, bitterly.

"Well, yeah. But it's the garbage that belongs to _this_ restaurant. So there."

"...We're supposed to be closed on Sundays anyway. What's Marik thinking, having us stay here all day?"

"You know, Curt has been working hard this past week to take our business away... I think Marik is trying to compete with him."

"That probably explains all the specials he's been pushing on people this week. I think there both nuts... but, if it's what Marik thinks is good... He's always doing this, you know. Making me go through stupid stuff so he can rule the world."

"..."

"It's mostly trivial stuff... but lately, I don't know... It's really strange. He really has an unnatural obsession with-" he noticed Jim starring at him, "I can't believe this. I'm spilling my guts out to a hobo!"

"..."

He looked at his watch, "...Um, I have to go, Jim. Could you watch the place for the rest of the night? Thanks." He headed for the door.

"Wait!"

"What is it?"

"I don't wanna stay here alone... Can I come too?"

"No, I have to go by myself."

"Why?! I hate being alone! Don't make me stay!" Jim whined.

"Being a hobo, I'd think you'd be used to it."

"Well, I'm not! Take me with you! Please?!"

"I can't. Stop asking."

"Please!" he threw himself on Malik, "Please, please, please!"

Malik kicked him off, "Alright, alright. But if Marik asks... you're following me against my will."

He nodded and turned off the lights. Once they were on the sidewalk, heading for McDonalds, Jim tugged on Malik's sleeve, "Why are we going there? For food?"

"No!" he paused, "Marik was telling me how he thought that McDonalds was using magic spells similar to ours."

"Why does he think that?"

"He says that they'd need something like that to get all those customers, and keep them for so many years."

"Oh."

"Actually, the real reason we're going is so we can take it and use it for I.H.O.S. He says that it should be more powerful than the one he learned on the website."

They were quiet till Malik saw the flashing neon light on the McDonalds sign. Jim started to go up to the front door but Malik pulled him into the shadows and up to the back door. Once they were around back Malik whispered, "Marik? Marik?"

"Yeah, I'm here." He came out from behind the corner, "Hey, what's Jim doing here? Malik, I told you to leave him at the restaurant."

"I know, but he followed me."

"Ugh..." Marik sighed heavily, "Does he know what's going on?"

"Yes."

"...Alright, Jim, you'll have to stay out here and be our lookout. You can handle that, right?"

He nodded eagerly.

"Wait _right_ here." He said, sternly.

"Gotcha."

Marik turned around and opened the unlocked backdoor to the freezer. He and Malik climbed inside and left Jim whistling the hobo theme song to himself outside.

Once inside the freezer, Malik shivered to himself, "Brr! Ra, why is it so cold in here?"

Marik rolled his eyes, "I dunno, maybe because it's a freezer."

"Well, it sure is empty in here." He looked around and saw nothing but a few crates of beef patties.

"It's more than likely that if they do have a potion or something it'd be in here."

"Who keeps potions or magic spells in their freezer, anyway?"

"Witches."

"What?! You think McDonalds is made of a bunch of witches?!"

"Maybe not everyone... but _Curt_ certainly is. That's why we gotta take whatever they're using from them. With all the power and customers that it's creating... they could totally rule the food world! You want that?"

"No. But they already rule the fast food world."

"Not for long, Malik. Not for long." He motioned for his hikari to follow him further into the freezer only to find large sides of beef suspended from the ceiling. At first it wasn't so shocking, after all this was McDonalds. But after a while the meat started getting bigger and there was so much to the point of disgust.

"Ugh, how much meat do they use for their burgers?" Malik asked, getting a little freaked out.

Marik grinned, "You wouldn't happen to be getting _scared_, would you?"

"No. I'm just saying... this is really too much beef. It's not right."

"Oh, so now you're an animal rights activist? Give me a break."

"I'm just saying-"

"Moo."

"Ah!" Malik jumped up and scrambled to his yami's side, "What the hell was that?!"

"What are you doing?!"

"Didn't you hear that?"

"Yeah, I heard voices. We must be getting close to the front door. I think it was the sound of Curt-"

"No! It was a... moo."

"A moo? You mean the sound cows make?"

He nodded.

Marik looked at him for a second before starting to walk again, "Malik, we don't have time for this."

"But Marik!"

"Shh!" Marik stopped at a door and brought Malik's ear to it, "Listen."

Malik heard what sound like people laughing and then he heard more frantic moos. "Moo! Moo! Moo!"

"Marik, there's a cow in there!" Malik whispered.

"What was your first clue?"

"I told you I heard mooing."

Once the laughter subsided Marik opened the door a crack and peeked inside. Seeing there was no one in there, he and Malik slipped through the door and into the room. The whole room smelled like death and was splattered with blood.

"Eww! Oh, gross! They killed a cow in here!" Malik shrieked.

Marik covered his nose, "...Okay, let's just get what we came here for and leave."

"How do we know they even have what we're looking for? They could just be really good cooks. Or maybe they have a catchy jingle that we haven't heard..." Malik continued to come up with reasons why McDonalds doesn't have a magic spell.

Marik, however, wasn't listening. He had crossed the floor to the other side of the bloody room to the refrigerator. He stuck his head inside and slid some stuff around, rather loudly.

"Marik! What are you doing?! Someone will know if you don't put everything back like it was!"

"Aha!"

"Huh? What is it?" He walked over and looked into the fridge. Marik was starring at a box with the words _Extra Strength_ on it.

"See, Malik? This is what they're using in their food, I just know it."

"Marik, I don't think that-"

"Enough talking. We have to get out of here before someone finds us." With that, Marik dumped the large box into his hikari's arms.

"Hey!" he pouted, "Why do _I_ have to carry this?"

"Because I'm tired. Now, let's go." He started back for the freezer door and tried to open it, "...It's locked."

"You locked us in a cow-killing room?!"

"We could always use that other door." He pointed to the door next to the refrigerator.

"...But that door leads to the front room, doesn't it? Won't people see us?"

"Not if we're disguised." He smiled and lifted a black sheet from the corner, "We'll just drape this over the both of us and bam. We're-"

"Caught. That'll never work."

"Sure it will! You just need to have a little faith, Malik. Come on, let's hurry this up and get back to Jim."

"Fine." Malik groaned while being covered with the sheet. They tiptoed through the door and out into the front room.

Only a few customers remained as some of the employees hurried to clean up so they could go home. Unfortunately, Curt who was giving orders to a teen that worked there blocked the door outside.

"Alright," Curt said to the boy, "Just take out the garbage, and you can go home."

"Yes, sir." He went outside with a big trash bag in hand.

Marik lifted the top of the blanket to see if Curt had left the doorway. He was no longer in sight, so Marik and Malik started to zoom from table to table until they were out the front door and in the shadows of the back-walls.

"Wow, Marik." Malik said shaking the sheet off his shoulders, "That went smoother than expected, huh?"

"Yup. We must be getting better at this." He looked around, "Jim? Jim, where are you?"

"Hmm." Malik shrugged, "He must have gone back to I.H.O.S."

"...But we told him to wait _right_ here-" Marik's sentence was stopped by a loud crash. He and his hikari turned to see Curt and another employee of McDonalds dragging another man in the front doors of the building.

Once they were inside, Marik turned to Malik, "I don't believe it."

"What?"

"Didn't you see it? That no-good, cow-killing freak _stole_ our hobo!"

"...You sure that was Jim?"

"Well, duh! I just can't believe Curt stole him!"

"Come on, Marik." Malik tried to pull his yami towards their restaurant, "You'll see, Jim's going to be back at I.H.O.S, snuggling in the trash like he always is."


	7. A day without him

Out of the frying pan

Chapter 7:

The next morning, I.H.O.S had been opened for about an hour and Jim still wasn't back. The night before, when Marik and Malik looked back in the dumpster, Jim wasn't there. They looked in the kitchen sink, the freezer, and even the mud hole out back, he wasn't anywhere to be found.

"I can't believe they stole our hobo! They stole Jim!" Marik hadn't stopped complaining since the night before.

"Maybe Jim ran away. Hobos are not very reliable, you know. He probably decided his work was done here and he wanted to move on."

"…Malik, you acting like he's the Lone Ranger. He's a hobo that can't even make a decent sandwich!"

"Then why did we keep him around, if he was so useless?!"

"Because we had something that Curt didn't have."

"Oh, big whoop. We have a hobo. Those things are dirty. I mean, I had to do excess moping because he tracked dirt in the restaurant."

"You are overly critical. Besides, with Jim here we could run the restaurant more smoothly. It's hectic today and we need a third person."

"That's no big deal, you could just hire another homeless man off the street." he rolled his eyes, "… And you know, I don't get why you care so much. It's just a hobo."

"It's the principal of the whole thing. You can't just go around stealing things from people! It just ain't right."

"Why? We steal all the time. And we got their… uh, well I'm not sure what it is… but we got it." Malik started to open the box that they stole form McDonalds last night. They didn't open it the night before because Marik made Malik help with looking for Jim.

When Malik did open the box, he revealed eight medium sized bottles of purple liquid. Marik reached in and took out a bottle from the box; he read the label on the back.

"It says use small portions for each serving of meat…"

"Anything else?"

"Eh, it has a bunch of warnings but that's it." Marik took off the top and poured it on all their ingredients, "There we go."

"Marik! The label said to use it on meat! Does that lettuce look like meat to you?"

"…Well, a little. But that's because we left it out all night." He walked back out to the register to take more orders. But before he shut the door, he called back to Malik, "Make sure to use all that stuff, Malik."

"Yeah, sure, fine, whatever."

After another hour past, Marik was starting to get antsy. He paced around the front door and looked out the windows from time to time.

As it grew later in the day Marik finally decided to do something about Jim's disappearance, "Malik, where's the phone?!"

Malik walked out of the kitchen and handed Marik his cell phone, "Who are you calling?"

"I'm going to get Jim back, Malik. One way or another." He turned the phone on.

"What!? You're not going to call McDonalds, are you? Marik, come on. I think-"

"Nope. I'm calling the police. It's been 24 hours, so I can file a missing person report…" he thought for a minute, "Malik, do you know the number for 911?"

"Gimme that!" Malik snatched the phone from his yami, "You are not going to file a missing person report for a hobo!"

"…Fine, then."

"Now listen here, Marik! I-" he stopped, "Did you just say… fine, then?"

"Yup."

"But I was all ready to argue with you. Well, if you're not going to call the police, what are you going to do?"

Marik dialed seven numbers, "I'm going to use your idea and call McDonalds. I'm going to tell Curt to hand over my hobo!"

"Ugh."

The phone started to ring and soon, Marik heard someone's voice, "This is McDonalds, how can I help you?"

"Get Curt on the phone, now." Marik ordered.

About a minute passed before Marik heard a very familiar voice, "Marik? Is that you? Why are you calling here?!"

"Curt, I know you have Jim and I want him back!"

"Jim? What the hell is a Jim?"

"It's not _a_ Jim. It's Jim. The hobo that works for me. You have him and I want him back, now."

"…Oh. A hobo is what you want? Fine, I'll give you a hobo… but you have to give back what you _stole_ from me last night!"

"Are you kidding? No way. I actually have a use for the stuff I took from you. But what can you do with a hobo?"

"Lot's of stuff. I can chop him up and use him for a new type of hamburger patty. What do ya think about that?"

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

Marik sighed in aggravation, "…No. I'm not going to give it back to you."

"You have to! You have no idea what that'll do! You can't use it! Don't-" Marik hung up the phone.

"What'd he say?" Malik asked, going back into the kitchen.

"He wants that purple stuff in exchange for Jim. The nerve of that guy! I mean, Jim is a good hobo and all… but really."

"So what's going to happen to Jim?"

"Eh… Curt wants to chop him up and put him in hamburgers."

"… It's dangerous being a hobo, isn't it Marik?"

"Sure is. People kidnapping you, using you as a bargaining chip, and then putting you in fast food. It's a hard knock life."

------------------------------------

At the McDonalds down the street, Curt was in the back room pacing around Jim who was tied up in the center of the room.

"What am I going to do?" Curt asked himself out loud, "This is terrible. If Marik uses that in his meat… I don't even wanna think about the consequences."

Jim looked up but kept silent. He'd been tied up and stuck in that room since the night before. When Malik and Marik went into the freezer and left him sitting out in the cold…

**Flashback:**

A few minutes past since Marik and Malik had gone and left Jim by himself. So, he wouldn't be too lonely, Jim sang the Hobo theme song out loud.

"…Boxes and bridges are where I stand. Visit me often… in hobo land! Hobo land! Somewhere I am free…" Jim sighed, "Jeez, how long are they going to stay in there?"

He looked at the open freezer door. He remembered Marik telling him to stay right there. But his wandering instincts were beginning to take him over.

Instead of listening to Marik, Jim walked into the freezer. As he got deeper and deeper into the cold room, he noticed more and more sides of beef hanging from the ceiling. He curiously licked one of them, but when they tasted worse than he thought, Jim kept going.

He came to a door and peeked inside. Jim saw a bunch of black leather, blonde hair, and tan skin. Finally realizing that it was Marik and Malik, Jim started to run back towards the door he went into.

'Oh no! If Marik catches me in here, I'll be in big trouble! He told me to stay!'

As he ran past the hanging meat, and through the back door, Jim slid out onto the concrete. Instead of landing on his feet, Jim hit the trashcans and made a loud crash.

Jim got up and looked around to make sure no one heard him, but before he could even stand up straight, he saw Curt and another man rushing towards him. Jim tried to make a run for it but Curt was too fast. He and his employee grabbed Jim and started to pull him around the side of the building.

While still struggling in Curt's grasp, Jim noticed the shadow of a spiky haired man coming out of the front door, and then another man's shadow followed. Jim thought it was Marik and Malik so he tried to yell for help. But was gagged by Curt and his friend.

**…End Flashback**

Curt bent down and looked into the eyes of Jim, "Okay, I need you to do something for me."

Jim tilted his head in question but remained silent.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!"

He turned his head in the opposite direction, "… I'm not going to do anything you ask."

"Oh, yes you will." He said, smugly.

"No, I won't."

"You will. Or else I'll grind you're bones to make my hamburgers!"

Jim swallowed hard, "W-what do you want?"

"I have to get my Extra-Strength potion back from Marik. You're gonna steal it for me."

"I wouldn't dare steal anything from Marik! He gave me a job and has been really nice to me. Malik hasn't been so great… but, he's Marik's friend so he must be nice some times."

"…What do ya mean he gave you a job?! You mean he actually let's you work in his restaurant?"

Jim nodded happily.

"And you live in the dumpster, is that correct?"

He nodded again.

"That's unsanitary…Wait a minute," He snapped his fingers, "I got it!"

"What?"

"Never you mind. But I still need you to steal my potion from Marik! Now, either you're stealing it or I chop you up! What's it gonna be, huh?"

"…" he winced, "F-fine."

"Wonderful!" Curt turned to face to one of his employees, "…Get Kevin on the phone. Tell him to be at I.H.O.S at ten tomorrow morning."

"Who's Kevin?" Jim asked.

"Don't worry, he's going to be the diversion while you sneak in and take my potion back." He laughed to himself, "Marik's going to wish he'd never stolen from me!"


	8. Inspecting the problem

Out of the frying pan

Chapter 8:

The next morning at I.H.O.S Marik was ecstatic to find Jim sitting at the front door when he and Malik came. Jim told him that he escaped from Curt and was now ready to get back to work. Although Marik was happy to have his favorite hobo back and working, Malik noticed Jim to be a little different.

When Jim had gone to the front counter to take orders, Malik took a chance to talk to his yami about Jim's sudden change.

"…What are you talking about, Malik? Jim's fine."

"You mean to tell me that you haven't noticed the slightest change in his behavior? He's so solemn and-"

"Curt is a mean and sick freak. He could've done anything to poor, sweet Jim. Jim's probably just reeling from what happened, that's all. It's not everyday you get taken captive by your manager's archrival."

"I guess…" Malik surrendered, not wanting to push it any further.

A little while later, the restaurant started it's lunch rush and Marik, Malik, and Jim got back to work. Jim was at the register when a young man with a brief case and a business suit walked through the door.

Marik walked out of the kitchen at the same time and saw the young man walking toward him. "Uh… Can I help you?"

"Yes. My name is Kevin. Kevin Kane." He paused, "I'm here from the Domino Health Department."

"Hmm… Yeah, what does that mean?" Marik said, starting to get impatient.

"I'm a Health Inspector. I got a call yesterday from a concerned citizen saying there is an unsanitary homeless man working here… I'm here to check it out."

An alarm went off in Marik's head, "Oh! Uh, no way, man! T-there's no hobo here!"

"Then you don't mind if I search the place?"

"…Sure! I mean, just a minute. I've… gotta go wash my hands." He stumbled backwards over to the counter and grabbed Jim's hand.

Before Jim could be noticed, Marik dragged him into the kitchen. Malik turned his head from the sandwiches and to Marik, "What're you doing?"

"There's a Health Inspector outside!" Marik let Jim's hand go, "And he's looking for Jim! Malik, you're going to man the cash register for a while, cause I gotta hide Jim."

Malik looked at Jim, "Well, whose gonna be back here?"

"I got it covered." Marik pushed Jim into the freezer and locked the door, "Sorry, Jim, but it's for my own good."

Jim just sat down on the cold floor looking forlorn. Marik turned around after locking the door, "Malik! What are you waiting for, an invitation?! Get out there!"

Just as he had shoved Jim, Marik pushed Malik out the door and to the cash register. Kevin was standing at the counter looking bored.

"Uh, here's my co-manager, Malik Ishtar. He'll answer any of your questions." Marik then scampered back into the kitchen.

"Well, Mr. Ishtar…" Kevin started off, "I heard from a very reliable source that there is an unsanitary man working here and serving food. I'm sorry but that is not allowed."

"What?! Aw, come on. You don't actually believe that, do ya?" Malik asked nervously, "I mean, that's just a stupid rumor."

"Still. I'd like to have a look around."

"Um… sure, okay. Let me give you the grand tour." Malik got up and opened the door to the kitchen. Kevin walked in and immediately headed for the back door. He opened the door and looked around the garbage cans.

Marik peeked out the backdoor and whispered to Malik, "What's he doing? I thought he was going to inspect the restaurant."

"Me, too." He whispered back, "But he seems to be really interested in the garbage."

Kevin lifted one of the cans and looked underneath, "Hmm…" he said, thoughtfully.

"Um, what does this have to do with anything?" Malik asked.

Kevin turned around, "I was told he lived back here, in the garbage."

"… Come here." Marik whispered while dragging his hikari back inside.

"What is it?"

"That guy said someone told him Jim lives in the dumpster."

"So what? It's true."

"Yeah… but how could anyone have known that for a fact?"

"…I don't get it. What's your point?"

"My point is that…" Marik's voice tapered off as he turned to face the freezer door.

---------------------------

Inside the freezer Jim was frantically searching for the Extra-Strength potion. He went in and out of boxes, while searching under the mixed ingredients.

After looking in the fifteenth box, Jim sat in the corner. '… Man, I don't think it's here. And if I don't get that stuff for Curt, he'll chop me up into little pieces and people will eat me!' he rubbed his head.

Jim got up and took a quick look around the room; he noticed another box on top of a shelf. He walked over and took it down; 'Extra-Strength' is what it said on the side of the box.

"Found it!" Jim exclaimed.

As Jim looked inside the box, the door to the freezer flew open and Marik and Malik walked in and up to Jim. Marik stood with his arms folded across his chest and his hikari was already in Jim's face.

"You dirty no good bum!" Malik shouted, "What do you think you're doing?!"

"Uh, I-I can explain!" Jim stuttered, "Please, I was only trying to-"

"Oh, I know what you trying to do! You were stealing that potion back for Curt, weren't you? Don't try and hide it, it's already out in the open."

"But he forced me! He said he'd chop me up if I didn't do it! I really didn't want to, but…" he looked up at Marik, "Don't be mad, I was just trying to keep from being used as hamburger meat!"

"Ha, well it's not like it would have done Curt any good to send you out here. We already used the whole box." Malik grinned.

"Really? You did?"

Marik nodded, "Yup. It's all been used in our sandwiches."

"Wow… wait till Curt finds out." Jim shook his head, "…But, honest! Even if you didn't use it all, I would have figured something out in order to keep it from Curt."

"Yeah, right." Malik looked at his yami, "Marik's not going to believe that sob story. I mean, really. How dumb do you think he is?"

Jim started to make a small whining noise.

Marik waved his hand, "…That's okay, Jim."

"…R-really?" Jim smiled brightly.

"Marik!" Malik shook Marik's shoulders, "You've gotta be kidding me! He's the reason that we have to deal with that Health Inspector outside! He's helping a man that we _hate_ to shut down our restaurant! A-and you're acting as if everything was fine and dandy! This is just wrong!"

"Malik, I think Jim was only trying to save himself. Besides, we've got bigger things to worry about."

"Bigger things? What bigger things?!" Malik put his hands on his hips, "Incase you haven't noticed… Jim has transferred to Curt's side!"

"No, I haven't!"

"Stop arguing, you two. If that Health Inspector finds Jim here, he's gonna shut us down for sure."

"So what should we do, then?" Malik asked.

"Kevin is probably back inside by now. I need you to take Jim out back and hide in the dumpster until I get rid of him."

"What?! Why do _I_ have to hide in the trash, too? That's not fair!"

"Malik, now is not the time for you to whine. Now, go!"

Malik mumbled under his breath as he took Jim out the back door. Marik used the front door to get back to the kitchen. Just like he thought he would, Marik found Kevin searching in the cabinets and under the counters.

"Ahem." Marik said, "Shall we finish the hobo-free tour?"

Kevin looked up, "…Where's the other one? Malik?"

"Oh… h-he had to go home. He's got the flu."

"I see. Well, I'm almost done. I just need to look in one more room, the freezer."

"Right this way." Marik lead the way to the door of the freezer and opened it so Kevin could venture inside.

He kicked over some of the open boxes and looked on the shelves. After about ten minutes Kevin came back to the door where Marik was standing.

"I couldn't find that hobo I was told about…" he said, obliviously upset.

Malik smirked, "Told you. Well, I guess you'll be going, huh?"

Kevin nodded and was about to leave but a box he didn't see before caught his eye. The one with 'Extra-Strength' written on the side.

"Hmm… That's it." Kevin said.

Marik looked over at the box, 'What's it? That's just the empty potion box…Wait a minute, the only way he could recognize it is if… Hey! Kevin must be working for Curt!'

"Oh...that old thing?" Marik said, trying to hide his grin, "You can have it. We don't need it."

Kevin smiled and took the box under his arm, "Well… goodbye."

"Bye." Marik waved.

-------------------------------

It was less than ten minutes later when Kevin drove back to the McDonalds down the street form I.H.O.S. He got out of the car and went in the back room to Curt's office.

"I didn't find the hobo… but I did get the potion back from their freezer." Kevin set the box down in front of Curt.

"Wonderful. Now I won't have to worry about Marik causing havoc and stealing anymore of my precious customers away. Life just couldn't get much better."

Curt got out of his chair and opened the box, "What?! Kevin, I thought you said you got the potion back!"

"…I did!" He looked into the box, "Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh? What, uh-oh?"

"Well… I should have known that the box was empty when Marik practically gave it to me. I guess he used it all." Kevin shrugged.

"Don't act like it isn't a big deal! This is terrible!"

"I don't get it… what's so terrible about using that potion? You used it, didn't you?"

"No, I didn't use it! I ordered it, but when I found out the details of what it does, I was preparing to send it back to the Blackmarket company! If used on any meats or any other food, for that matter, it'll result in… chaos."

"Chaos? What kind of chaos?"

"_Big_ chaos. And I mean that literally."


	9. Epidemic

Out of the frying pan

Chapter 9:

Over the next week at I.H.O.S, Marik and Malik started to notice something peculiar about their regular customers. It seems that everyday when they came in, they'd look a bit bigger. And when I say bigger, I mean fatter. It was as if something was enlarging their body every time they came in to order.

Malik wasn't sure what to think about the sudden change. He had a hunch that it had something to do with that potion they had put on all their ingredients, but still wasn't entirely sure what it all meant…

Marik, on the other hand, wasn't going to stand by and watch his faithful customers become giant cows. They were his ticket to world domination, after all. As much as Marik didn't want to… he decided to call the one place he knew had the answer. McDonalds.

"Hello?" It was Curt's voice on the other end of the line.

"Curt. What is up with that potion I took from you? It's making people… I dunno, they're getting-"

"Fat, I know. That's why I told you to give it back to me! Now that they have it in their bloodstream, it's going to continue."

"Continue? What do you mean?"

"It'll be like an epidemic. People can catch it from others just like catching AIDS or HIV."

"Ah! You mean, getting fat is now _contagious_?!"

"Not exactly… only from the people that have eaten the infected food." He glared at the phone, "And since you've been getting so many customers lately, that's a lot of people!"

"…Why the hell am I just now finding out?! Shouldn't you have written this on the box?! I mean, how was I supposed to know what this would do when all it said was Extra Strength? This is ridiculous. Where'd you get such a thing? Make it yourself?"

"No. I got it from the Blackmarket website. It was on sale for ten dollars. But, I didn't know about all this until they sent it to me. It was in fine print on the instructions for crying out loud! I was preparing to send it back when _you_ stole it!"

"Like I said… you should have written all that on the box. Well, what are we going to do?"

"We? No, no, no… you are the one who started this. And you'll be the one to finish it." With that, Curt hung up the phone.

"…" Marik put the phone back on the hook and sighed, 'What the hell am I gonna do now? I've just started a epidemic. Curt is right… I have given it to a lot of people and if this is like transferring AIDS… then people can pass this on to their kids! Oh no! Soon, we'll have a world of fat people!'

"Marik?" Jim touched Marik's shoulder, "Marik, hello..?"

"…Huh?"

"I've been calling you for two minutes. Malik needs to talk to you," he pointed to the door, "He's in the kitchen."

"Okay." Marik nodded and walked through the door. He saw Malik sitting on a crate in the corner of the room. "Hi, Malik."

Malik stood up, "Marik, did you call Curt? What did he say?"

"…" Marik took a deep breath, then explained everything to Malik just as Curt had explained it. It took about twenty minutes for Malik to fully understand what Marik was trying to tell him.

"…Wow." Malik sat back down on the crate, "That's unbelievable."

"Tell me about it. But it makes sense."

"So what are you gonna do?"

"Me? Why does it always have to be me? I didn't do this by myself!"

"It was your idea, Mr. Let's Go Steal A Magic Potion From McDonalds!"

"Ugh, okay… I'll think of something. But in the meanwhile, we have to throw all this food away and order everything new. We should get started."

"What about Jim? Shouldn't he know about all this?"

"Nah. Let's keep him clueless for now… we don't want to scare him into thinking he's going to get fat, too."

Malik nodded and proceeded to pile up boxes of sandwich fixings into the corner. Marik started to help until another line of chunky customers came to the register and he had to take their orders.

As Malik was packing up the contaminated ingredients, Jim came in sweeping the kitchen floor. At first Jim and Malik said nothing to each other, but after about ten minutes, Jim started sweeping backwards and bumped into Malik.

"Hey, watch it!"

Jim backed away, "Sorry."

"Ugh! You know, this is all your fault!"

"What'd I do?"

Malik shook his head, "No. Never mind. It's not like you'd understand." He continued to drag boxes until Jim stopped him.

"Tell me why it is that you're always mean to me!" he said.

"…Well, for starters-"

Just as Malik was starting to tell Jim off, Marik busted in through the door, screaming, "Malik, I've done it! I've done it!"

"Done what?" Malik looked away from Jim and towards his yami.

"I've figured out what to do about the whole fatness epidemic! It came to me while taking an order. Picture this… I was asking a chubby lady what she wanted when all of a sudden a skinny man in a business suit cut in front of her and started to quickly order. He looked like he had a lot of money, so I made no objection. But the lady was furious. She took him by the bowtie and swung him across the floor. Then continued her order."

"…" Malik starred, "Not to rain on your parade, Marik… but that doesn't sound like it could solve anything."

"Oh, but it can! See, I realized something just then." He paused, "This fat thing could be just what I needed all along!"

"You need to be fat?"

"No! I need the fat people to serve as my army! With them, I can rule the world! Their mighty girth will bring me victory!"

"…" Malik shook his head in disbelief, "Let me get this straight… you plan to harness the power of obese people in order to obtain world domination?"

"That's right, Malik! Now you're catching on! So, are ya with me?"

"I am most certainly _not _with you! Marik, that has got to be the most insane thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth!"

"Aw, come on! Where's your vision? Can't you see this is my most inspired idea yet? I mean, think about it. How could we fail?"

"For one, how do you expect to control the fat people? I doubt there's a potion for that on the blackmarket website."

"I'm not going to use a website." He pulled his millennium rod out from his belt loop, "I'm going to use this! And you are too."

"I will not."

"Yes, you will."

"No, I won't."

"Hey, hey!" Jim interrupted, "Fat people? What's all _this_ about?"

Malik groaned, "It's a long story, Jim. But Marik now wants to rule the world, with a bunch of fat people by his side. What a wacko."

"…" Jim thought for a moment, "…Well, that's a g-great idea, Marik."

"Thanks, Jim. See, Malik? Jim is supportive of me."

Malik stuck his finger at Jim, "You little suck up!"

"Chill, Malik." Marik pointed towards the door, "Jim, I want you to clear all the skinny people out of the restaurant and round all the fat people in the middle of the room. Me and Malik will be there shortly."

Jim nodded happily and skipped out through the door.

"Get your rod ready, Malik." Marik grinned, "It's going to be a long night."

Malik took his millennium rod from his belt loop as well, "I still don't agree with this, you know."

"What's your point? This is going to be fun."

He rolled his eyes, "I'm _so_ sure."

In less than a minute, Malik and Marik were out in the front room blasting chubby minds with their powerful rods. It took a lot more time than Marik expected because Malik kept getting scared and trying to run away. Jim was little help as well; he tried hard to block the exit door but some people trampled over him. In the end, Marik got them all under his control and about forty plump people stood in the middle of the room with blank expressions on their faces.

Marik walked around each person with a smirk on his face, "Ah. A job well done, eh Malik?"

"I dunno." He said, "I'm tired. Can we go home?"

Jim nodded, "Me too. I'm ready to hit the garbage."

"You didn't do anything!" Malik directed his attention back at Marik, "…. Uh, Marik? Now that I think about it, I think it's going to take more than forty fat people to rule the world. We're going to need more."

"Yup. I think you're right. And lucky for us… I know exactly how to get them."


	10. Fat people of Domino, listen to me!

Out of the frying pan

Chapter 10:

As tired as they all were, Marik still dragged Malik and Jim along with him. He made no mention of where they were going, only that he was going to get all the infected fat people in the country to come down to I.H.O.S.

They walked down twelve blocks to the local radio station and went through the front door. Malik was desperately trying to get his yami to answer him but all Marik said to him and Jim was, "Come here!"

He pushed Jim and Malik in a dark corner of the busy lobby, "Okay, this is what we're doing-"

"Finally!" Malik rolled his eyes, "It'd be nice if you actually clued me in once in a while before taking me to some cheap radio station with… _tacky_ wallpaper."

"…I'm ignoring you, Malik." He continued, "Anyway, Jim, I need you to create a distraction here in the lobby. That way, me and Malik can go upstairs."

Jim tilted his head to the side, "C-can I go with you instead? Can't Malik stay and start a distraction?"

"Ah, no way!" Malik stuck his tongue out, "That's the hikari's job! To go with his yami! _You_ stay here and… distract people. You're good at that."

"Aww…"

"No, Malik's right, Jim. I need him with me for this." Malik grinned and Marik pointed to the middle of the room, "Jim, I need you to make a big distraction. One that'll hold people's attention until Malik and I are done. It shouldn't take more than fifteen minutes if we're lucky. Can you do that?"

"Sure can!" Jim nodded and smiled, "I'll be the best distracter you ever did see!"

"Well, that's nice, Jim…" Malik fake-yawned and led his yami towards the elevator, "You'd better get started, Jim. We're going now."

"Uh, right!" Jim ran to the middle of the floor and raised his arms, "C-could I have everybody's attention, please?"

Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and looked directly at the dirty hobo in the center of the room.

Jim cleared his throat and looked over at Marik and Malik who hadn't left yet, "Lights, please!"

Marik got the message and turned down the lights on the switch he was standing by. When the light was where Jim wanted them, he spoke again, "Ladies and gentlemen, this song goes out to all the hobos in the house…"

All the people shook their heads as if they couldn't believe this was real. Jim continued this time, in song; "I know of a place… in a box far away… a place I called home, from then to this day. It was not very much, but it was all that I had… and now that I'm gone… I miss it so bad! Rain, sleet, snow… I endured nature's wrath… and last week, I swear, I took my first bath!…" he went on and on, and surprisingly… held everyone's attention.

Marik and Malik had already gotten off the elevator and were now on the fifth floor of the building. Marik had told his hikari that they were looking for an empty broadcasting room so they could put a message with their rods on the air.

Finally, they found an empty room. The DJ that had previously been in there, rushed down stairs to here the singing hobo. Apparently, word travels fast in a radio station.

Marik sat down in one of the chairs and Malik sat in the chair across from him, "So, what are we doing?"

"I told you. I'm gonna get this to go on the air so we can do our own little radio commercial with the millennium rods."

"And… uh, why are we making a commercial?"

Marik groaned, "Because, when the infected fat people hear the message and the rod takes control of their mind, they'll do exactly what we tell them to do."

"Oh, I see…" Malik thought for a minute, "Wait, you actually know how to use one of these?"

"Well, duh. I saw it done before." He flicked a switch on the desk and put his finger on another, "Come on, Malik. You're going to be doing this… and take out your rod."

"Wha...? Me?! Marik, why do I have to do this?"

"Cause, I'm the one who's pushing the button!"

"Ugh… fine. Tell me when."

"…" he flipped the 'on-air' switch, "Go."

Malik held up his millennium rod up to the speaker in front of his chair and said, "Fat people of Domino, listen to me! You are to come to the International House Of Sandwiches, first thing in the morning. You are to become apart of Marik's obese army! So, be ready!"

Marik turned the switch off and sat up, "Hey, that was really good Malik. You actually sounded menacing."

"I have my moments."

"Uh, speaking of moments… we better be getting back down there! I promised Jim it wouldn't take long. He must be dying out there… I mean, really, how long can the Hobo Theme song be?"

"Right, let's go."

Marik and Malik left the room and used the elevator to get back to the first floor again. When the door opened, they found the room much like before. With Jim in the center singing his heart out, and a audience of people starring but somewhat listening.

"…Boxes and bridges are where I stand. Visit me often… in hobo land! Hobo land! Somewhere I am free…" he finished and the crowd went wild with laughter and applause. "Thank you, thank you!" Jim bowed.

"This is too weird." Malik whispered to Marik as they casually walked over to Jim.

"Oh, hey guys." He said, "Back so soon? I'm going to take requests next. Anything you guys want to hear?"

"Uh, time for us to go Jim." Marik said.

"Aw, really? But they like me!"

Malik and Marik grabbed his hands and began to drag him out of the building, "Come on, Jim."

Some of the people in the lobby protested, but eventually they got out and went back to I.H.O.S. When they got into the kitchen, Jim asked what exactly they did on the radio.

Marik answered his question by turning on the radio. In less than two minutes, the commercial played and Malik bragged about his beautiful voice to Jim.

"Well," Jim retorted, "I don't see a big crowd marveling at _your_ singing skills! That's because they're all clapping for _me_!"

"You little cockroach! Are you implying that I cannot sing?!"

"I haven't heard anything from you but yelling."

"That shows how much you know! Thanks to my voice, we're going to have lot's of fat people on our doorstep in the morning!" he turned to his yami, "Isn't that right, Marik?!"

"Uh, well…"

Jim shook his head, "No, Marik thinks my voice is better!"

"That little ditty you croaked out… it was cute. But mine is better!"

"No, mine!"

"No, mine!"

Marik was starting to get a headache, "You guys, cut it out!"

"_He_ started it!" they both shouted.

"Ugh…" he stood in the middle of them both, "You two really ought to be preparing for tomorrow."

"…By doing what?" Jim asked.

"Moving tables out of the way. We have to make sure our chubby army is… comfortable."

------------------------------

At McDonalds, Curt and his employees were starting to close. But as Curt was getting ready to lock his office, one of his workers ran to him. "Sir!"

"What is it, Taylor? I'm getting ready to leave."

"Sir, you should turn on the radio. That guy from I.H.O.S is on there!"

Without stopping to think, Curt sprinted to the desk and turned the dial to FM. He flipped around for the right channel and listened when he found it.

_"Fat people of Domino, listen to me! You are to come to the International House Of Sandwiches, first thing in the morning. You are to become apart of Marik's obese army! So, be ready!"_

Curt gasped and turned around, "Taylor! Do you know what this means?!"

"Uh… not really, sir. No."

"Neither do I. But it can't be good."


	11. Fight for the fatties!

Out of the frying pan

Chapter 11:

The next morning, Marik and Malik met Joe at I.H.O.S bright and early. When they got inside, an army of large men and women awaited them. Marik was greatly pleased with the results, but Malik was still skeptical about his yami's plan.

"Okay, Marik. We have the fat people, now what are we going to do?" Malik asked, folding his arms.

"We send them out to fight!"

"E-Excuse me?! Send them out to _fight_?! Fight who?"

"The skinny people." He said with confidence.

Malik shook his head, "Marik, there are more skinny people than fat people. Think about it… it'll be, like, twenty to one. Our guys will get their butts handed to them!"

"I admit… I was hoping for a bigger outcome. But it's better than none, right?"

"Well," Malik smirked, "If you wanted more fat people, you should have recruited Jim. He's got some meat on him."

"Hey, I do not!" Jim cried, "That's muscle."

"I didn't know muscle wiggled like that."

"Alright, cut it out, you two." Marik ordered, "We'll just have to make due with what we've got. And what we've got is an army awaiting orders." Marik walked to the front of the room, "Alright, is everyone here?"

They all nodded.

"Okay, so let's get started-" Marik was interrupted by the door opening and two chubby men with hoods on walked inside, "…Hmm. Can we try to be on time, guys? This is a job, not a summer camp."

The two men nodded and mumbled, "Sorry…"

Marik continued speaking and the two men whispered to each other in the very back of the room.

"…Well, Taylor, we're in." Curt said.

"No disrespect, sir, but this is kinda dangerous… I mean, Marik isn't a real understanding guy… suppose he catches us?"

"Not to worry, Taylor. I got it all figured out… we just need to get those shiny golden sticks away from Marik and Malik. That's how they control everybody."

"Then…?"

"Then we can give all these poor people the antidote we got off the black market website, last night. Once they find out that we saved them from Marik's insane wrath, they'll love me forever and come to McDonalds from now on. We'll gain all our customers back and run Marik out of business. Pretty cool idea, huh?"

"…Sounds nice, sir. But what's in this for me?"

"Well, if we succeed… I'll promote you to Assistant Manager. How's that sound?"

Taylor pumped his fist in the air, "Great, sir!!!"

"No!" Curt pulled his employee's hand down, "Don't draw attention to us!"

"S-Sorry, sir…"

But it was too late. Marik had already noticed and was standing next to Taylor in a flash, "Is there a problem back here?!"

They shook their heads rapidly, and kept their heads low so Marik couldn't see their faces.

"What's up with the costumes?" Marik asked, "It's not Halloween, take them off."

They shook their heads again.

"Take. It. Off."

When they said nothing, Marik grabbed the hoods and yanked them to the floor. Curt tried to cover his face but Marik had already seen him, "Curt! What in hell's name are you doing here?!"

"I'm here to stop you!" he said finally. "I won't let you turn my faithful customers to fat warlords!"

"Oh, yeah? And just _how _do plan to stop me?"

Curt looked behind him and saw Taylor still standing there. He slowly handed a bottle to him and looked at Marik, "I'll find a way."

"Ha! Yeah, right." Marik grabbed Curt by his collar and dragged him towards Malik and Jim, "Malik, tie Curt up and put him in the freezer. Jim, you help."

"Alright." Malik took hold of Curt and headed for the door. Jim tried to help and Malik told him to go jump off a cliff.

Curt's employee was still in the back of the room and he was trying to give the antidote to some of the people but, since they were still under the control of the millennium rods, they wouldn't take any.

Taylor sighed, 'Okay… I know what I have to do… get that stick away from Marik. But I highly doubt I can get it away from him…' He looked over at Marik, who was twirling his millennium rod between his fingers. 'Oh, well. If I want that promotion… I'm gonna have to work for it.'

He walked up to Marik, "Excuse me, sir?"

"…Huh?! Who the hell are you?! You're aren't fat, so you shouldn't be in here."

"I-I'm lost. Could you point me to the… uh, airport?"

"Oh. Well, it's over there." Marik pointed his millennium rod out toward the street.

"Gotcha!" Curt jumped out from the kitchen and grabbed the rod from Marik as he tumbled to the floor.

"What the…?!" Marik looked on as his hikari and Jim ran out after Curt to try and get him back, "Malik, how'd he get away?!"

"It wasn't my fault!" Malik answered, still chasing Curt, "Jim was pouting cause I wouldn't let him help! So, I said he could tie Curt up! And he let him get away!"

"Tattle-tell!" Jim yelped.

"Oh, I don't care whose fault it was! Just get my rod back!"

"Taylor, I've got it!" Curt called to his young employee, "I've got it!… Wait a minute… how the hell do I use it?!"

"Try saying… _open sesame_!" Taylor called back.

"That won't work!" Curt was now struggling to keep out of Malik and Jim's reach, "…We have to think of something! I can't keep this up much longer!"

"But what can I do?" Taylor asked himself.

"Nothing!" Marik folded his arms, "As soon as he runs out of steam, and Malik catches him… you're both going to the shadow realm."

"The shadow what?"

"Never mind. Put it this way, you won't be coming back."

"Ugh…" Taylor looked at the bottle in his hands, "There's gotta be something I can do!"

In less than five seconds, Malik captured Curt with little help from Jim, who had sat down in the middle of the room to have lunch.

"Got him, Marik." Malik said, "Here's your rod back."

Malik tossed Marik's millennium rod back to his yami, but in midair Taylor jumped up and caught it. "Don't worry, Curt, sir! I've got it now!"

"Do something!" Curt yelled.

"Like what-" before Taylor could finish his sentence, Marik lunged at him and wrestled him to the ground.

"Give it back to me, you little worm!" Marik said as he pried Taylor's hands open. Just as Marik was starting to gain control of the struggle, Taylor slipped from under him and ran for the door.

Curt had gotten away from Malik, and started for the door as well. It looked as if they were going to make it out the front door, but just as they opened it… Taylor tripped over Jim.

"Ouch!" Jim and Taylor yelped as they both hit the ground.

Marik nodded, "Way to go, Jim! You stopped him!"

"I-I did? I was just having lunch…"

As Taylor fell to the ground and Jim fumbled with his sandwich, the millennium rod soared through the air and fell onto the ground in the middle of the room. Curt wasted no time in diving for it, and Marik did the same. They ended up on the floor, smacking and kicking at each other.

Malik felt it was his duty to help his yami out by using his millennium rod, so he directed it towards the two on the floor. But, they were moving around so much that Malik couldn't get a clear shot at Curt. It was too much of a risk to do anything with his rod, so Malik jumped into the fight and decided to help out, physically.

Taylor did the same as Malik; he tried to fight off Malik to help Curt out. So, Marik, Malik, Curt, and Taylor were in the middle of the room and were fighting amongst themselves with the millennium rod floating from person to person.

Jim, on the other hand, was watching the altercation with contentment while eating his sandwich. 'Wow, this is cool. It's like dinner and a movie. But, I guess I should help Marik out. Hmm… he's trying to get his shiny stick back, right?'

Jim got up, casually walked over to the fight and plucked Marik's millennium rod from Curt's hands. "Here you go." He said while handing it to Marik.

Marik jumped up in victory, "In your face, Curt! In your face!" he pointed the rod towards Curt and Taylor, "See ya, later."

As Marik was preparing to send his foes to the shadow realm, Malik was fuming mad in his mind, 'I can't believe it! Jim helped Marik out again! All he did was take the damn thing from Curt… and now Marik's going to be saying how helpful and supportive Jim is…I can't take this anymore!'

Consumed with rage, Malik viciously jumped on top of Jim and wrestled him to the ground, "You stupid, _stupid_ bum!" he yelled while trying to scratch Jim's eyes.

"Ahh! Help!" Jim cried, "Malik's gone mad!"

Marik looked behind him, "What the hell are you two doing-"

Before Marik could finish his sentence, Malik and Jim's fight had reached him and he toppled over as they continued to yell and shout.

Curt and Taylor had been completely forgotten about, and decided to take advantage of the situation. Curt tiptoed to the three people and grabbed the millennium rod from Marik. Taylor did the same to Malik and then they ran out of the restaurant, screeching, "Victory!"

In less than a minute, Marik realized what had happened and he pulled Malik off of Jim, "Do you know what happened!?"

"Uh…" Malik scratched his head.

"They got away," Marik pointed towards the front door, "with our millennium rods! Did you even notice that yours was gone?!"

Malik checked his pants, "Oops."

"Well?! What have you got to say for yourself?!"

"Uh…uh…! Jim started it!"

"I did not!" Jim retorted.

Marik screamed in aggravation, "I'm surrounded by idiots!"


	12. Broken and Free

Out of the frying pan

Chapter 12:

Later that night, at around eight or so, they were still at I.H.O.S. Jim and Malik were listening to Marik stress out over Curt getting away with his rod. Malik was upset about his missing millennium rod, as well… but no one gets depressed like Marik.

"Oh my Ra…" Marik sobbed on the floor, "My rod! My precious millennium rod! Gone… gone _forever_!"

"…" Jim tilted his head, "Well, um, sorry Marik. You can get it back… c-can't you?"

Malik slapped Jim on the back of his head, "Dork. Why are you always so… helpful?"

"Marik seems sad…" Jim answered.

"Oh please!"

"I can't get it back…" Marik's voice dropped to a dramatic whisper, "McDonalds is closed right now, and I don't know where Curt lives… Oh, my millennium rod. I knew you well. I remember all those warm summer nights when I'd put my socks on the top of it and play sock puppet theatre… Good times, good times…"

There was a moment of silence.

Malik looked around. The fat people were still standing in their places. They hadn't moved or done anything since Curt and Taylor ran out of the restaurant earlier, which made Malik think…

"Hey, Marik!" Malik sat on the floor next to his yami, "Marik, I thought of something!"

Marik sniffed, "What…?"

"Well, Curt has our rods, right? And his goal is to try and free these people… but how can he do that? I mean, aren't we the only ones who can use the millennium rods?"

"Hey… you're right! How's he gonna do anything?!" Marik stood up triumphantly, "Hooray! We can still have our army and take over the world!"

Marik began his Egyptian victory dance. Which looked a lot like the hokey pokey.

"…Wait a minute, Marik. I didn't say that."

Marik stopped dancing, "What do you mean, Malik?"

"Well, even if they can't control our army, we can't either. We don't have the millennium rods right now, so we can't really do much of anything."

"Huh?! But we have to open the restaurant tomorrow! How are we supposed to serve food with a bunch of fat people taking up all this space?!"

Malik shrugged.

Jim had been quiet for a while; he was trying to bite off a scab on his right elbow. But before he could get it all off, Malik slapped him.

"Ouch!" Jim rubbed his cheek, "What was that for?"

"None of this would have happened if you weren't here today." Malik glared, "I mean, everything you do ends up in disaster! Like when you sat down to have a sandwich in the middle of the room! Or when you took the millennium rod from Curt and handed it to Marik! Ugh! And now you're… eating your scabs!"

"I'm hungry again."

"… Do you see, Marik?! Do you see what you have let enter our lives?!"

------------------------------

Back at McDonalds, the rest of the employees had gone home a while back. That left Curt and Taylor alone in the office, with the millennium rods.

"…So," Taylor said, "These things have the power to control people's mind's huh?"

Curt nodded, "That's right. That's why we have to be careful with these while were figuring out how to free those poor people's minds."

"Hmm… I got an idea."

"What is it?"

"Well, say we don't free their minds. What if we use them and make everyone our customers by force? Wouldn't that be better? Then everyone on the planet would come to McDonalds."

"What's wrong with you, boy?! Marik's craziness must be rubbing off on you!"

"But sir-"

"No! We're not going to sink to Marik's level. We're going to do this the right way."

Taylor sighed, "Whatever you say, sir."

"That's right. Whatever _I _say. Now…" he picked up one of the rod's off the desk, "How do I work this thing?"

"Hmm." Taylor picked up the second one, "Maybe there's a secret password or something."

"I told you earlier, that won't work."

"Aw, how do you know unless you've tried? We should give it a shot." Taylor looked the millennium rod in the eye, "Open Sesame!"

Nothing happened.

"…Well, that was stupid." Curt waved it around, "Maybe there's a switch or button to activate it."

"It's worth a try. Let's look for something."

They both spent about five minutes looking for some sort of secret compartment that held an activation button or dial. They found none and Curt rubbed his temples for a while. "This isn't working." He said, "Let's try something else."

"…" Taylor tilted his head, "Wait a minute, let me try something. I saw this in a movie once."

"Go ahead."

Taylor lifted the millennium rod to his lips and licked it. Then he starred at it as if awaiting something to happen.

A moment passed and Taylor shrugged, "I guess it didn't work."

"What the hell did you expect to happen?! You licked it!"

"Well, gee wiz… I was only trying to help."

"Ugh!" Curt stood up and chucked the millennium rod towards his young employee. Before it made contact with his face, Taylor shoved his rod in front of him so it would absorb the blow.

Both of the rods broke instantly and fell to the floor.

Taylor opened his eyes, "…You could've killed me!"

"Sorry." Curt scratched his head, "I guess sometimes I just lose control."

Curt walked around the desk and looked on the floor. Both the millennium rods were broken into two pieces. Curt gasped, "Oh no! _Now_ how are we going to free the people?!"

---------------------------------

Marik and Malik were sitting alone in the front room at I.H.O.S. Jim was no longer there. After Malik threatened to Jim's veins out, piece by piece, Jim decided to go out back to his dumpster and get a good night's sleep.

"Well, I guess we can use these people as lawn gnomes." Marik sighed, "I'll get Jim to move them out front tomorrow before we open."

Malik glared, "I can move twice as many fat people than Jim ever could."

"Fine. _You_ move more than four tons of flesh out to the front lawn."

"…Never mind."

As you can see, they were more or less… depressed. Another minute of silence passed and then they decided to go home. Marik was about to turn off the lights but as he walked over to the switch, something happened.

Some of the zombie-like people in the room started to move. They got the glazed look out of their eyes and began to regain the color in their faces.

"…Uh, where am I?" one of the men asked.

Another twitched, "My feet hurt. I feel like I've been standing for an eternity…"

Malik looked at Marik, "What the hell…? Marik, what happened?!"

"I-I don't know. Do you think Curt figured out how to use the millennium rods?"

"No way! How could he? We're the only one's that could use them, right?"

"That's what I thought…"

Malik and Marik watched as there once obedient army of mind slaves started to walk out the front door. Malik didn't even try to stop them. What use would it do anyway? He'd just get trampled.

"I can't believe it." Marik said when they'd all left, "We have no millennium rods and now no fat army! Is the world against us?!"

"I guess we don't get the cool lawn gnomes then."


	13. Fixed with a little bit of tape

Out of the frying pan

Chapter 13:

The next week was just one big disappointment for Marik and Malik. The day after all the fat people left the restaurant, thousands of people called and left a message on Marik and Malik's answering machine saying that they all wanted a refund from I.H.O.S. They didn't exactly know what was going on but they knew that Marik had something to do with it.

After all the refunds, I.H.O.S went bankrupt and they had to close. The only thing that made Malik happy about this was that they could get ride of Jim. Since Marik and Malik didn't own the building anymore, they couldn't reassure Jim that he'd always be able to stay there. But Marik said that as long as the cops didn't come, Jim was welcome to stay in his dumpster.

"Really, I can?" Jim asked gleefully.

"Sure," Marik answered, "As long as no one else buys the place and kicks you out… you can stay."

"Wow, cool!"

"I guess it doesn't make much of a difference to me…" Malik said gruffly, "Just as long as you leave us alone. Forever."

"Well, goodbye, Marik!" Jim ignored Malik's comment, "It's been nice knowing you!"

"Bye, Jim. Malik, say bye." Marik nudged his hikari.

Malik fidgeted for a second, "… Well… uh, sayonara."

Jim smiled and aggressively hugged his two friends. Marik hugged back a little and Malik tried to fight Jim off. But it didn't work. When Jim was satisfied with their goodbyes, he started to walk back to the dumpster behind the old I.H.O.S building.

As the next week progressed, Malik and Marik began their normal routine again. Sitting on the couch and arguing over the remote. Of course, things weren't back to normal just yet. There was one, or should I say _two_ things missing.

"Our millennium rods!" Marik shouted from the north end of the couch, "I knew I forgot something!"

"Oh, yeah. That's right." Malik said thoughtfully, "Curt still has our rods, doesn't he?"

"How can you act so calm?! That slimy, dirty man has our millennium items!"

"…That reminds me. Did you ever figure out how Curt was able to free everyone from our mind control? I mean, was he actually able to activate them?"

"Who knows?" Marik sighed.

They sat in silence for a minute or two.

"…" Marik looked at his hikari, "Aw, what are we pouting for?! I mean, we can still take over the world without the millennium rods, right?"

"Not really. I mean, the chances are, like, slim to none."

"…"Marik threw a pillow at Malik.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"You are such a negativity spreader! I mean, here I am trying to be all positive and here you come with your… _statistics_."

"Drama queen."

Marik was about to throw something else at Malik but before he could there was a knock at the door. "Delivery!" said the voice from the other side.

Marik motioned for his hikari to get up and answer the door. When Malik opened the door, a man in a postal uniform held out a brown box and a clipboard, "Mr. Ishtar?"

"That's me."

"Then this is for you." He handed Malik the package and Malik signed the paper on the clipboard.

The man walked off and Malik carried the brown package into the living room, "Hey Marik we got something."

Marik took one look at it and turned his head, "Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, no…no."

"What was that about?"

"Don't you remember? This whole restaurant thing started because of some mail we got. Just watch… as soon as you open that, you'll learn that a distant relative has died and you inherited some kind of… building."

"…"

"Then some whacko will take away something valuable from us. Last time it was my millennium rod. This time, who knows what it'll be?! I mean, I don't have very much. Maybe he'll take the clothes off my back. Or maybe he'll take you. All I'm saying is that package will be bad news… I can feel it."

Malik sat the box down on the coffee table, "You're being silly."

"Am I, Malik? Am I?" Marik sat on the floor and scooted towards the table and Malik, "…Well, if you're going to open it… I wanna be the one to say I told you so. So, go ahead. Doom us all."

"Fine, I will." Malik opened the top and peered inside. "Our rods!"

"What?" Marik looked in as well, "Hey! It _is_ our millennium rods!" He took his out of the box and held it up to look at it in the light. "Wait a minute!"

Malik was looking at his, as well, "What?"

"Our rods have tape all over the middle!"

"What the…?" Malik looked back into the box, "Hey it's a note from Curt!"

"Lemme see!" Marik snatched it from his hikari's hand and read:

'Marik, I'm sending your sticks back. Now that you're out of business, I have all the customers I can handle and you can't do much about it. We couldn't use them anyway.

Signed, Curt.

P.S. Sorry about the tape. My assistant manager and me broke them. But that's okay. I'm sure it won't do any harm.'

"I don't get it." Malik said. "How did Curt free all those people if he didn't activate the rods?"

"Don't you see, Malik? Because Curt broke them, that broke the spell. But Curt didn't know that at the time, and I guess he didn't really care… as long as he got his customers back."

"Oh." Malik looked at his rod again, "Well, will the tape mess with the rods' power? Will it still work the same?"

"I dunno. I guess the only way to find out is to test them out. Let's go pay Yami and Yugi a visit."

Malik stood up and followed his yami out the door, 'Well, I guess it's back to the old grind again.'

THE END….

**Sweetness:** Well, what did ya think? I didn't think I could get it done this fast but I had to wrap it up because I have something else I want to do.

I'll have another one beginning soon, but it'll take me a while to get the first chapter up. So please, wait for me.

In the mean time… review for this and please tell me how I did. I will be waiting.

Oh, and Merry Christmas! Or whatever you celebrate.


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